Speculation About Apple Announcing a New Product Today: Trendy Nerds' Skinny Jeans Get Even Tighter Around the World

So Apple is at it again. This time around it's a tablet that is being talked about in hushed tones on the web. I was going to make a joke here about other places where we geeks get together, but we don't really like leaving the house too much so we'll just stick with the interwebs for our example. Wait, STARBUCKS!

For all intents and purposes it appears to just be a giant iPhone. This is an over-simplification of course. Apple has retooled the touch interface in some pretty amazing ways (or so it sounds in the rumor mill).

To be completely honest, I'm new to the Mac brotherhood. I've had an iPhone for about 2 years or so and just recently (last weekend) purchased a MacBookPro. So far, I'm seeing what my Mac friends have been talking about for years. Absolutely loving the interface, no viruses and overall sense of superiority that comes with being a Mac guy. But hopefully I will be able to avoid the fate laid out to me by a fellow MacGeek friend of mine:

me: Ok, anything super awesome I should be aware of now that I've got the MacBook?
 VP: yes, You will now start wearing tighter jeans, snug fitting t-shirts, prob develop bad eye sight and will buy nerd glasses. You will develop a hatred for PCs you can't explain me: haha, already not happy having to use my work computer and it's been 1 day.
 nVP: lol, basically you'll start to look more and more like the mac guy from the commercial. Oh, and you'll prob use iMovie once and never use it again

I was pretty relieve to find out that Apple's announcement scheduled for today was going to be regarding a tablet instead of a new MacBook. That would have been such a buzz kill but par for the course I suppose. "Wahoo, I have the latest greatest thing"...for 3 days. Talk about a kick in the nuts. But thankfully, bullet dodged.

I wish just once Apple would be less innovative and more prickish. Really take advantage of their solid and loyal fan-base. How awesome would it be if Steve Jobs came out today and said, "Hello, I am here today to introduce the newest Apple product, the iSlate" and he just held up a stone tablet. "I know some of you may be confused but yes, this is the newest product in the Apple line. No, your eyes do not deceive you this is a stone tablet. BUT, it does have that really cool Apple Logo carved into the back and is immune to computer viruses and spyware! The price of the iSlate is going to be $5,000. Yep that's right.  It's a $5,000 rock. Just a rock, that's all. But it's an apple product so you're going to buy it nerds. Suck It! I'm Out!" Mic drop and then he exits the stage to a roar of mixed confusion and outrage. Then 4 weeks later the iSlate becomes the best selling product of the year.

But thankfully for everyone without my odd sense of humor, I'm not going to get my wish. Instead the world is going to get another major jump forward in technology and innovation. Making it easier and easier to live your life without any social interaction. The iPhone was a wonderful way to avoid human contact while out in the real world but my one complaint was always, "It's not big enough to use at home when I'm wanting to ignore my family!" Well ask and ye shall receive! 

Jokes aside, for more info (rumors) HERE is a pretty condensed article of what little information is known about the tablet at the moment.



Write On,
Ross

UPDATE: Steve has announced the iPad. Cute name. It is basically bridging the gap between iPhone and MacBook. Some quotes from presentation:

 "SO all of us use laptops and smartphones... the question has arisen; is there room for something in the      middle. We've wondered for years as well -- in order to create that category, they have to be far better at doing some key tasks... better than the laptop, better than the smartphone. What kind of tasks? Browsing the web. Doing email. Enjoying and sharing pics. Watching videos. Enjoying music. Playing games. Reading ebooks."

This is disappointing. Some pretty cool features but silly in my opinion. Too big to be super portable and too small to be adequately useful at home.

So, the iPad is Apple's version of the NetBook. Only more expensive (probably) and more awkward? Steve looks pretty comfortable here doesn't he:

Definitely has some very cool functionality but over all I am underwhelmed. For more screen shots from the presentation click here.